Your Questions About Higher Self Esteem

Linda asks…

Does higher self esteem results in better academic achievements?

Hello, i am a grade 11 student and i am doing a project on Does higher self esteem results in better academic achievements? and this project really effects my studies.so i tried searching this on the net but couldnt find anything. I want to request whether u know where i can find projects,literauture, surverys on self esteem or anything that may help me on this project.can u please help me out ? thanks. paste the links or anything u want below: 1000 thanks.

Sally Smith answers:

A good place to start with this project would be the library. A research librarian can help you find articles on this. I seem to remember the opposite being true – students in the US had very high opinions of their math ability, but sucked at it, while kids in Japan all thought they sucked at math but scored much higher than us.

Http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/17/AR2006101701298.html

Robert asks…

How do you build a higher self-esteem?

I just want to know so i can fell more positivein life and not be afraid to try new things so can any one tell me good habbits so i can build a higher self esteem?

Sally Smith answers:

Do something different that’s good for you. Work out, clean up your look, and start talking to people so they know your personality.

You just need to force your self to be outgoing.
Learn to speak! Communicating with others will make you successful in all areas of life. I see so many young people with little communication skills its scary. These kids hide behind the text message so much that they can not talk to someone face to face. I suggest first getting out and communicating with others at work, the store clerk, neighbors, gain some confidence, then attack the world. Lacking confidence is awful who cares if you get knocked down at times get up and keep swinging. You’re the one holding yourself back. Good Luck and Speak Up!

Mary asks…

How to get higher self esteem?

I don’t think of myself very pretty, compared to the other girls in my life. The girls at my school are really thin and petite, I’m 5 foot 4 and I weigh 114 pounds, and they weigh 80 and they think they’re fat. I have acne, and I’ve gone to the derma, but I keep forgeting to use my medicene, I know it will work. And I don’t wear make-up. And my friends are so much prettier then me. Then have perfect hair, no acne, aren’t fat. How can I get higher self esteem?
Also

I’m sure avery girl in my grade has had a bf at least once.

ME? NEVER
By ‘derma’ I mean dermatoligist

Sally Smith answers:

Learn to love your self, and do things for your self, primp, go all out and do the make up and everything. Take time for you, and you will start to feel more confident in your self. You are just right in your size, however the girls at your school sound way too thin already, to think of losing more weight. School can make it hard sometimes to maintain a positive self-esteem. Don’t compare yourself to others you are unique in your own way as everyone else is. And true beauty comes from within the person not the outside. Boys in school a lot of times go for what’s on the outside until they grow up some and find out that even if though “beautiful” on the outside a lot of them can be empty on the inside. Just be yourself. Practice new hair styles, new styles of clothes and make-up. But just enjoy yourself is the most important. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. You can see true beauty from a persons actions. Focus on the things you feel the most confident about yourself. And remember and tell your self everyday that you are a beautiful and wonderful person, and about your caring, positive qualities. Good luck and best wishes.

Your Questions About Self-confidence

Sandy asks…

help with self-confidence,what should i do?

i really want to get in shape but i don’t feel confident going out there and run in the street.what can i do to keep these bad thinking out?i am a shy girl.i also have not been going to the gym because i feel big and i want to lose some weight before i start going but i really want to be confindet and go has i am now.i have previously gained 15 pounds from bad eating habits and sedentary lifestyle.i am motivate to change that but need some self-confidence exercising the weight i am now.Also to note i am trying to lose 10-20 lbs.And any advice on how to to tone hips,butt,love handles(lower abdominal will be helpful).and nobody mention yogurt am trying to stay away from to many sugary food and dairy.

Sally Smith answers:

Just do it. Who cares if people laugh or stare. You will most likely NEVER see these people again in your life.
And all people at a gym will accept you. Fun fact, most people who are there were also out of shape at once.
So just go and do what you feel most comfortable doing.
And best of luck losing the weight :) .

Laura asks…

Does exercise increase your motivation, concentration and self confidence?

If so, how?

Sally Smith answers:

Oh my yes!

Exercise releases endorphins to your brain that make you feel good. And just doing things for yourself makes you feel good!

If you want to increase your motivation, your concentration, your self confidence, you self worth – exercise! I promise you that you will be amazed by the difference it makes in your life! 

William asks…

How can I get stronger emotionally (i lack self confidence) and physically (im like a freakin toothpick)?

Are there any diets or exercise routines that could help and could I get an approximate number of how many of those routines I should do a day? I am a teenage boy and would like to beef up as much as possible. PLEASE HELP!!

Sally Smith answers:

As far as the physical part, start by going to a gym, if possible, if not then buy some weights and use them. You can find good routines and tips at http://www.bodybuilding.com. As for the emotional part, once you start working out and start getting stronger you will most likely become more self confident.

David asks…

self confidence boosting exercise?

Why are people advised to look into the mirror and talk to themselves to develop self confidence? Whats the logic behind?

Sally Smith answers:

Self-affirmations are a proven method of convincing yourself of something. They yield results! If you read any self-help book, you’ll see the first step is almost ALWAYS to repeat motivational phrases several times – write them down, say them in your head, say them out loud if you can and yep, look at yourself in the mirror and say them.

This is the same with almost anything you want to achieve in life. Whether it be confidence, overcoming depression, weight loss, quitting smoking…. The list goes on. You tell yourself something enough times, you begin to believe it.

 

Your Questions About Anger Management

Sandra asks…

I want to take anger management classes but I don’t know how to bring it up to my parents.?

I want to take anger management classes but I don’t know how to bring it up to my parents. I am only 14 but I start physical and verbal fights just because we don’t have snacks or food I like in the house. Or cause someone comes in my room without knocking, and I share my room. I start fight and yell at my 2-17 year old siblings. Help!

Sally Smith answers:

Just talk to them about it, and they’ll take you a therapist to talk to.

Chris asks…

Are there free anger management classes?

I am a 17 year old male and I have a ferocious and explosive temper. I cannot control it at all and my dad said that if I have another rage that he is kicking me out. Money isn’t one of the things that we have a lot of. Is there free anger management classes for people that do not have a lot of money?

Sally Smith answers:

Ask your school counselor to see if they offer any anger management groups. Some school counselors or intervention specialists will address anger issues.

Do you have health insurance? Health insurance won’t cover anger management counseling, but often depression is the underlying factor that creates the explosiveness! If you have health insurance you should get a physical to rule out anything health wise that may be causing this; if you do be sure and ask the M.D. To screen you for depression.

If you need to rely on self-help books, I highly recommend books by Ron Potter-Efron - you can check in the library. Even if you have to buy one, his books are usually are very reasonable in price.

Your Questions About Importance Of Anger

Donna asks…

my bf is not givin me much importance to my anger coz m calm gal but still i want him to c to my anger.wt 2do?

he gives his al excuses n makes my anger useles or cuts d topic tellin his loads, i also want importance of my anger,instead he always gets angry i convince him coz i dnt wanna loose him still i want myslf different importance for my reasonable anger….

Sally Smith answers:

Write him a letter explaining your point of view. Or an e-mail.

Ken asks…

If there is no karma then how else do we learn the importance of love, compassion, tolerance for all?

Most of us don’t really learn unless we get a dose of our own medicine.

If we treat others with hatred, cruelty, intolerance (eg. homosexuals, other races, etc) then how will we know what it feels like unless we reincarnate as them and face the same treatment? Only then will we learn the real importance of tolerance.

Similarly do we learn the importance of love, compassion, honesty, integrity, justice, peace, friendship, family, kindness etc. And the futility of anger, hatred, war, jealousy, greed, etc – after many lifetimes of difficult experiences.

Sally Smith answers:

I do think that there is a practical, real life phenomenon of “what goes around comes around.” Typically those who make the lives of others miserable end up miserable themselves, because most people won’t put up with their crap.

Some folks like that learn their lesson and “grow up.” Others never do and go to the grave angry and bitter. That’s just the breaks. The world simply isn’t a fair and just place, which is all the more reason to be as compassionate and supportive to those who are less unfortunate than we are. Regardless of your beliefs or non-beliefs, love and compassion is what our society needs the most of.

Mandy asks…

How would you deal with your anger over old, stale gossip?

I was at my all-school reunion when Mouthy Myron mentioned the wild behavior of a classmate of mine when she was in high school. (That was when Buddy Holly was singing “It Doesn’t Matter Any More” in live performances, a song that Myron the Moron ought to listen to again!) My friend was active in drama and athletics, was on the honor roll, and was sensitive and considerate toward other people. She never pretended to be a plaster saint. Y’know, none of us ever got our statues erected in any cathedral. “Peggy Sue got married” and is a retired school administrator. She has successfully raised five children, loves to visit her great grandkids, and is active in her church and community. I realize that we all sometimes gossip, and that my hopping to her defense would have given the remark too much importance. So, is there any way to deal with this kind of situation, without making it worse?

Sally Smith answers:

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Move on.

Translation: Don’t sweat the small stuff, and consider the source, my friend. Mouthy Myron was surely revealed to be a moron by anybody who knows about “Peggy Sue.”

Anybody who matters wouldn’t care, and anybody who would care, doesn’t matter.

Your Questions About Effective Communication

Robert asks…

Can you re word this assignment topic for me?

“Using specific examples, discuss the impact of poor communication skills in both the workplace and home environment. Describe effective communication skills and consider how they can facilitate positive change.”

I just need this to be re worded so I can understand it better, it was an assignment given to us over the holidays so I have no way of talking to my teacher.

Thank you!

Sally Smith answers:

Why is it important to communicate well? How can giving the wrong message to someone cause problems at work and within your family? How can you make your points clearly and be respectful of others as well? How can good communication make life easier?

Lisa asks…

question regarding workplace that i need help with asap please?

what are some of the barriers to effective communications that you might experience in the workplace?
and what are some ways to overcome these barriers?

thanks for your help : )

Sally Smith answers:

SOME BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN THE WORKPLACE ARE:

LANGUAGE/CULTURAL/RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES
Creating trust, showing respect, receiving respect, give & take on both sides to balance situation. Gain support from relevant authority.

BULLYING.
Firstly, ask them to stop as their behaviour is unacceptable,
point out to management that no-one should suffer humiliation, discomfort or intimidation. Understand the form of your grievance & proceed to management.

GENDER/AGE DIFFERENCES.
Acknowledge that different ages & genders DO have different values due to their covering different times of maturing. Be prepared to accept some value in both sets of ideas.

HAZARDS & PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT.
Approach the relevant Occupational Health & Safety representative with your grievances in writing, preferably supported by fellow workers.

LEVEL OF EDUCATION.
The person not as well educated is not necessarily less intelligent. With this fact in mind effort to assure the position is within the capabilities of the worker, or would be with training.

(Hope this helps a little.)

 

Your Questions About Overcoming Adversity

Michael asks…

Is overcoming adversity the greatest happiness?

The greater the adversity is, the greater the pleasure is in overcoming it?

Sally Smith answers:

No, I believe love is the greatest happiness but overcoming adversity sure is up there.

Jenny asks…

What are some texts that have the theme of young women overcoming adversity?

i’m doing an research assignment for year13 english and have to study 5 texts (film, novel, biography, poetry, short story) that have a theme in common and i have chosen young women overcoming adversities. i have chosen to already: Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and SuckerPunch by Zack Snyder. i’m struggling with finding more texts with the same theme. do you have any ideas of what i can study?

thank you in advannnnnce!

Sally Smith answers:

Here’s a good one: ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ by Margaret Attwood. Attwood is a feminist writer from Canada and the book is set in a future where fertility is rare. You might look at her other work too. Sylvia Plath was a famous feminist poet, married to John Hughes, the poet laureate. Then there’s anything by Virginia Woolf if you’ve got the stomach for it. I found it deathly boring – the most famous of her books is ‘To The Lighthouse’ but I can’t honestly remember what it’s about. Good luck!

David asks…

What are some films about young females overcoming adversity/obstacles?

I can’t think of any and I need one more text for a research project for English. Thank you in advance.

Sally Smith answers:

The movie ‘Erin Brokavich’, about the young female lawyer, single, a nuclear power station, and pollution effecting locals. Based on an actual situation. She met huge local bigotry and overcame it.
Julia Roberts was the actress. 

Donald asks…

A poem that deals with overcoming adversity?

Preferably one that shows that the person may have not overcome it, but learnt from it.
& where you got it from, thanks.

Sally Smith answers:

It’s a bit long to post here, but I’d recommend Homer’s “The Odyssey”.

Your Questions About Self-esteem

Linda asks…

Need quotes to raise self esteem?

What are some quotes that will raise your self esteem?

Sally Smith answers:

Unknown Author: Self Esteem Quotes
If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

Albert Einstein: Self Esteem Quotes
Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized.

Maxwell Maltz: Self Esteem Quotes
Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.

Anthony Trollope: Self Esteem Quotes
Never think that you’re not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. People will take you very much at your own reckoning.

Eleanor Roosevelt.: Self Esteem Quotes
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Daniel asks…

What are your favorite quotes/ sayings that build self esteem?

Sally Smith answers:

You are as happy as you make up your mind to be.

Betty asks…

What are some good self esteem sayings?

:)

Sally Smith answers:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Chris asks…

inspiring quotes on self-esteem?

do you know of any good inspiring quotes about self-esteem that you may have heard or made up yourself.

Sally Smith answers:

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ.”
“Believe in your dreams and they may come true; believe in yourself and they will come true.”
“Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.”

Your Questions About Spirituality

Mandy asks…

What is a song that describes your spirituality the best?

Could be a Christian song.. could be a song about your non-belief, could be a song about your Agnostic belief, or your Buddhist belief… could be anything, does not have to be worship (in fact I encourage it, I can’t stand worship music).

If there is not a song that you can think of that does in fact describe your spirtuallity or whatever… you can also pick a song that reflects your outlook on life.

Sally Smith answers:

From the title, I was going to ask if you meant ‘religion’, or other forms of ‘spirituality’…

For me, my choice of song isn’t really connected to any religion. It is just transcendingly ‘spiritual’. It’s also my absolute favourite piece of music, regardless of genre :~

‘Adagio for Strings’ ~ Samuel Barber

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CA93ybVGCeg&fmt=18

But I can often find spiritual elements in many songs that aren’t specifically intended to be so…

Your Questions About Self-esteem Lyrics

Lisa asks…

What songs help boost your self-esteem?

“Best Thing I Never Had” by Beyonce has helped me a lottt these past couple weeks… :) It’s just a beautiful song, beautifully sung, beautiful lyrics, and I can relate to it. But I’m wondering if there are other songs that help your self-esteem? “Beautiful” by Christina Aguialera is ok… it deson’t sound that great to me, so it doesn’t help me feel better hehe.

Sally Smith answers:

Perfect by P!nk
Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne
Good Life by OneRepublic
All This Time by OneRepublic
Someone To Save You by OneRepublic
Imperfect Is The New Perfect by Caitlin Crosby
Pop Rocks by Fight Fair
Firework by Katy Perry

We R Who We R by Ke$ha
I’m Awesome by Spose
No Rain by Blind Melon
Ridin’ Solo by Jason Derulo

And one that helps me no matter what is Fame by Irene Cara
Hope I helped you

Your Questions About Quotes About Inner Drive

Paul asks…

Any truth to this? “In Politics, Emotion Trumps Logic In The Brain”?

In Politics, Emotion Trumps Logic In The Brain

If you missed it, the NYT reported that when it comes to politics, logic just doesn’t do it for the brain, and liberals and conservatives equally go emotive and even irrational when put on the political defensive. Maybe that’s why the “reality based community” always seems to come up short in the media, if emotion drives the public dialogue. A bunch of shouting gets better ratings than a talking heads show with lots of light and no heat? More below the fold.

In this article from the News and Observer quoting the Times, we find that MRI scans indicate that when a favored candidate is criticized, the process goes emotive and unconscious, and “the brain’s pleasure centers flare up when unwelcome information is being rejected.” Most cognition uses rationality to deal with contradictions, but evidently not when politics is involved. The study at Emory indicates that both political affiliations judged the other candidate harshly, but let their own skate by, even when their candidate contradicted their own positions. When they read the contradiction,

… researchers measured increased activity in several areas of the brain: a region involved in regulating negative emotions and another that activates when the brain makes judgments about forgiveness, among other things. Also, a spike appeared in several areas known to be active when people feel relieved or rewarded. The “cold reasoning” regions of the cortex were relatively quiet.

Researchers have long known that political decisions are strongly influenced by unconscious emotional reactions. But the new research suggests that for partisans, political thinking is often predominantly emotional.

It is possible to override these biases, Westen said, “but you have to engage in ruthless self-reflection, to say, ‘All right, I know what I want to believe, but I have to be honest.’”

This may be one of the best scientific arguments for a third party that we’ll ever have. That way we couldn’t flip into automatic unconscious binary polarization.

Not just political thought
Submitted by m on Tue, 02/21/2006 – 12:53pm.

Deep seated life views are the basis for our opinions, perceptions and judgments. Logic and reason are used to justify the results and consequences of the lower based reactions, not to create new results.

That such emotional and reflexive reactions make up the overwhelming majority of our choices and opinions is proved daily by the efficacy of marketing processes. And more strikingly by political history, wherein great masses of individuals have been persuaded to sacrifice, suffer and even die for movements that were completely antithetical to their immediate or larger interests.

Those properly trained in the hard sciences know full well how difficult it is to divorce one self from conscious or unconscious preconceived ideas or “desired” outcomes in project design, making observations, selecting data or applicable analytical tests, and of course in interpretation. I use the hard sciences as an example, not to diminish any other area of endeavor, but only because these areas provide the simplest, easiest, and possibly least such influenced areas of study.

The process of changing the inner core is not an easy one. “I wasn’t raised that way” is more often a justification for not thinking, than it is for ethical behavior. Such changes are a major goal of institutions of higher education. Often to the dismay of the parents of the student.

Simply perceiving issues in ones own character or personality is one of great difficulty. Changing acquired habits is beyond the reach of large segments of the population. Intentionally modifying inner core values is ferociously difficult. This probably has strong survival value, even though it contravenes our preferred view of ourselves.

“Re-examine all that you have been told . . . dismiss that which insults your soul.”

— Walt Whitman

When all think alike, then no one is thinking.”

— Walter Lippman

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out… without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.”
H. L. Mencken

Sally Smith answers:

A whole lot of truth.