Category Archives: Better Relationshis

Your Questions About Anger Management

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Sandra asks…

I want to take anger management classes but I don’t know how to bring it up to my parents.?

I want to take anger management classes but I don’t know how to bring it up to my parents. I am only 14 but I start physical and verbal fights just because we don’t have snacks or food I like in the house. Or cause someone comes in my room without knocking, and I share my room. I start fight and yell at my 2-17 year old siblings. Help!

Sally Smith answers:

Just talk to them about it, and they’ll take you a therapist to talk to.

Chris asks…

Are there free anger management classes?

I am a 17 year old male and I have a ferocious and explosive temper. I cannot control it at all and my dad said that if I have another rage that he is kicking me out. Money isn’t one of the things that we have a lot of. Is there free anger management classes for people that do not have a lot of money?

Sally Smith answers:

Ask your school counselor to see if they offer any anger management groups. Some school counselors or intervention specialists will address anger issues.

Do you have health insurance? Health insurance won’t cover anger management counseling, but often depression is the underlying factor that creates the explosiveness! If you have health insurance you should get a physical to rule out anything health wise that may be causing this; if you do be sure and ask the M.D. To screen you for depression.

If you need to rely on self-help books, I highly recommend books by Ron Potter-Efron - you can check in the library. Even if you have to buy one, his books are usually are very reasonable in price.

Your Questions About Importance Of Anger

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Donna asks…

my bf is not givin me much importance to my anger coz m calm gal but still i want him to c to my anger.wt 2do?

he gives his al excuses n makes my anger useles or cuts d topic tellin his loads, i also want importance of my anger,instead he always gets angry i convince him coz i dnt wanna loose him still i want myslf different importance for my reasonable anger….

Sally Smith answers:

Write him a letter explaining your point of view. Or an e-mail.

Ken asks…

If there is no karma then how else do we learn the importance of love, compassion, tolerance for all?

Most of us don’t really learn unless we get a dose of our own medicine.

If we treat others with hatred, cruelty, intolerance (eg. homosexuals, other races, etc) then how will we know what it feels like unless we reincarnate as them and face the same treatment? Only then will we learn the real importance of tolerance.

Similarly do we learn the importance of love, compassion, honesty, integrity, justice, peace, friendship, family, kindness etc. And the futility of anger, hatred, war, jealousy, greed, etc – after many lifetimes of difficult experiences.

Sally Smith answers:

I do think that there is a practical, real life phenomenon of “what goes around comes around.” Typically those who make the lives of others miserable end up miserable themselves, because most people won’t put up with their crap.

Some folks like that learn their lesson and “grow up.” Others never do and go to the grave angry and bitter. That’s just the breaks. The world simply isn’t a fair and just place, which is all the more reason to be as compassionate and supportive to those who are less unfortunate than we are. Regardless of your beliefs or non-beliefs, love and compassion is what our society needs the most of.

Mandy asks…

How would you deal with your anger over old, stale gossip?

I was at my all-school reunion when Mouthy Myron mentioned the wild behavior of a classmate of mine when she was in high school. (That was when Buddy Holly was singing “It Doesn’t Matter Any More” in live performances, a song that Myron the Moron ought to listen to again!) My friend was active in drama and athletics, was on the honor roll, and was sensitive and considerate toward other people. She never pretended to be a plaster saint. Y’know, none of us ever got our statues erected in any cathedral. “Peggy Sue got married” and is a retired school administrator. She has successfully raised five children, loves to visit her great grandkids, and is active in her church and community. I realize that we all sometimes gossip, and that my hopping to her defense would have given the remark too much importance. So, is there any way to deal with this kind of situation, without making it worse?

Sally Smith answers:

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Move on.

Translation: Don’t sweat the small stuff, and consider the source, my friend. Mouthy Myron was surely revealed to be a moron by anybody who knows about “Peggy Sue.”

Anybody who matters wouldn’t care, and anybody who would care, doesn’t matter.

Your Questions About Emotional Balance

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Mandy asks…

Please help! Doctor apmt in a week!?

Ok, Enough is Enough?
So I have a homeopathic doctor who told me that from my hair follicle test it shows my female system is imbalanced. Long story short, I was prescribed Preseodymium Phosphoricum to balance me out. I have been taking it but for the last 6 mths my mentrual period has been late off and on by a week, two and once I skipped a month. In the midst of all this, I have developed this strange habit of getting this knot in my throat that feels like when you want to cry but you hold back. If I am on the preseodymium phosphoricum the throat issue is gone,…but where is my period? I am 45 days waiting still from the the first day of my last period. I have off and on cramps….some emotional issues but other than that, no period symptoms. I’m just tired of waiting for my period…. Is it possible I am going through pre-menapause? I am not and cannot get pregnant because my boyfriend and I cannot conceive together. Is it the homeopathics? Any HD’s out there?

Sally Smith answers:

My advice is to make an appointment with a General Practitioner at a regular clinic for a diagnosis and/or referral to a regular physician. Homeopathic doctors do not have the broad spectrum of diagnostic tools available to regular doctors. You’re more likely to get a definitive answer and better solution to more serious health problems from a regular doctor. Homeopathic doctors have their niche and serve that niche well, but your problems seem to be beyond the scope of your homeopathic doctor.

Michael asks…

I hate my friend? How to get over envy?

I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t but it is very hard not to. I disagree with the education system at my school and often have internal conflicts with my inner rebel and the side that actually wants to get good grades. I usually can dive into a test and at least get an average mark, because I’m a talented writer and I listen in class. But I have a lot of emotional/identity issues, and sometimes breakdowns or introspective deep thought end up screwing with my study habits. My ‘friend’ never does anything but study. She even skips out on compulsory school commitments just to study. All day, she just freaks over work; sometimes homework which is not even significant for marks. So far she has dux for getting A+ in all eight subjects, and every specific award for each of those subjects were given to her. When I try to slowly and calmly revise for a test, she comes and shakes or screams at me over something in work she wants to reassure herself over. I’m trying to give myself life balance and improve my grades again, but when I am around her it is hard not to feel worthless, and guilty. All I hear from her are complaints and wining about homework or assignments. She was angry at me all day on friday because she got an A- in English instead of A+. I am so envious of her achievements and work ethic, yet at the same time I look at her pathetic excuse for a life and feel better… but overall I can’t stop hating her so bad because of school, and I wish she would just leave; even though she hangs with our group and is always patient with me. Now when I do my tests, I just see her face and feel like I am so stupid and can’t even answer anything functionally unless she is not doing the same elective as me.

Sally Smith answers:

I think you should reassure your friend and tell them to just calm down and not rush over everything. You on the other hand are sort of in the same boat. You should try to also keep calm and think about work when it is important to you but not to rush it. Envy… You can always try taking that envy and using it to make you work harder, or try to talk to your friend about it.

I hope I have helped.

 

Your Questions About Better Relationship Quotes

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Joseph asks…

quotes about getting through a tough time in a relationship?

im looking for some good relationship quotes about tough times and making it through them.

Sally Smith answers:

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” Epicurus

“If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.” Lisa Moriyama

“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” Ursula K. Le Guin

“The art of love … Is largely the art of persistence.” Albert Ellis

“The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.” Joseph Joubert

“Tolerance and celebration of individual differences is the fire that fuels lasting love.” Tom Hannah

Ken asks…

What are cute/good relationship love quotes?

Well I can’t really find any cute relationship quotes, they can also be like missing you quotes also. Please help me out?

Sally Smith answers:

“It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, bit it is the little differences that make them interesting.” Ruthman.

“Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement…all success… All achievement in real life grows.” Ben Stein.

Jenny asks…

What are some good relationship quotes ?

Sally Smith answers:

“To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship”. ~Doménico Cieri Estrada

Mary asks…

good songs or quotes about a relationship falling apart?

me and my boyfriends relationship is falling apart. good quotes and songs about this would be nice to listen to or read. its like he doesnt feel the same anymore. or he is seeing someone else. we have been together for 6 months now.

Sally Smith answers:

“After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot.” – Sarah Jessica Parker

“Sometimes things fall apart so other things can fall into place.” – Debra Roberts

“When everything else falls apart and crumples away…. Your will and soul is still there.” – Bradley Adam Henderson

“I never fall apart because I never fall together.” – Andy Warhol

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

“We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.” – Leo F. Buscaglia

“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation…” – Oscar Wilde

“Don’t flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

“What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” – T.S. Eliot

“Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words” – Dr. Joyce Brothers

Your Questions About Emotional Balance Book

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Donna asks…

is it bad to be reading Twilight and be extremely emotionally connected to the characters?

These last couple of months in my life as a young teenage girl my life has shuddered in its emotional balance to the point where my mother had to take me to the hospital. Because my constant crying and uncontrollable sobbing was making breathing an invariable pain in my lungs. I have a million reasons to cry my eyes out until my heart bursts. But i am not the type of Pearson that shows emotions like crying in public unless it is anger. And i don’t criticise someone who does. “Anyway not getting to deep into my personal life,” My mother started to get worried that i was falling into a deep depression. So she talked to the principal at my school about my lost of interest in almost everything and they decided that from that day on i would have as little free time as possible ,recommending me to read Twilight as a distraction. All of a sudden i found my self completely lost in the Twilight world. It is like I replace the character of Bella with me. To the position that if the character was going through something unpleasant my mood would suddenly react to what was happening in the book. Now i am reading New Moon. And i intend to read all four books. But i just wanted to know if this sounds like i have an obsession with the book,if that’s bad, and why?

Sally Smith answers:

Putting yourself into the main character’s shoes and becoming attached to them is normal, and something the author strives to do in their writing. However, obsession is not healthy.

It is perfectly fine to dive into a book, but you need to make sure that you do not become obsessed. Edward and all of the characters are fictional, so do not rely on them in your life. Do not run to the books and characters when something bad happens, and do not hide from life behind its pages. Be whoever you want to be while you read, but remember that you are who you are, and who you are while you read is someone completely different.

You may replace Bella in those books, but they will eventually end and you will have to continue your life as yourself, and not as Bella. Bella had a predetermined fate, you do not.

So, yes, if you’re sad or unhappy and you feel the need to cry, pick up a good book to help you through your tough times. Just do not allow yourself to mix fantasy with reality.

Joseph asks…

do you know more dictionary entries?

b-I-t-c-h (bich) n
female: the woman who stole your boyfriend
male: the hot, sexy chick at reception

butt (but) n
female: the body part that every item of clothing makes ‘look bigger.’
male: the organ of mooning, farting, and number two-ing

commitment (ko-mit-ment) n
female: the desire to marry and raise a family
male: a female specific term; not relevant to the male species

entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n
female: a good movie, concert, play or book
male: anything involving alcohol, table tops, and women dressed in material only half an inch in width

communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shun) n
female: the sharing of emotions and deep seated feeling with ones partner
male: the sharing of jokes with ones pals

flatulence: (flach-u-lents) n
female: a by product of digestion
male: an endless source of entertainment, self expression and male bonding

making love (may-king luv) n
female: the greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve
male: what men must remember to call ‘making love’ to entice a women to do so

needs: (need-z) n
female: the delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship
male: food, sex and beer

taste: (tayst) v
female: something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure its good
male: something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out

thingy: (thing-ee) n
female: any part of a cars mechanics
male: any part of the female anatomy

vulnerable: (vul-ne-ra-bull) adj
female: fully opening up ones self to emotionally to another
male: playing gridiron without a ball protector

Sally Smith answers:

Lol true true ?

Your Questions About Better Relationship With Daughter

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Sandy asks…

How to build a joyful father-daughter relationship?

I am a 17f I had a nice time with my dad but, Since I moved to into adolescence our relationship have collapsed. how can a teen daughter have a good relationship with dads, like a friend?

Sally Smith answers:

Always ask them for advice, they were your age once! Usually in this kind of scenario, there is a ‘age-boundary’ above which you don’t take someone seriously and this hinders a family relationship. The adult usually has no ‘age boundary’ since they have been there and done that. But like I said they were your age once. Also there is still a little ‘kid’ in all adults so that’s good to keep in mind. In addition to always asking for advice, ask to to fun things with him – sledding, bowling, playing cards with your favorite music playing, a picnic etc. :)

Laura asks…

How can I get a better relationship with my daughter?

I have a 14 year old daughter.When she was younger I use to be her best friend.Now that she has gotten older our relationship has changed.She doesn’t talk to me any more because she says im just going to go and tell my friends.She has become very disrespectful,and she doesn’t listen to me anymore,but she doesn’t seem to think so.I love her to death,but I feel that our realationship that we once had is going to become worst and eventually to a end……..Can you please help me get our mother daughter relationship back

Sally Smith answers:

At 14 she isn’t a little girl anymore and is going through hormone changes etc. So you have to give her a little lee way.
But remember you are her mother not her best friend. Although you should try and be good friends with her and have a close relationship. I would recommend a mother daughter night. You could watch a movie, give her a facial and make up session, and try and get the bond you had back. Tell your daughter that she can tell you anything and that she doesn’t need to keep any problems bottled up inside her. And that you honestly wouldn’t tell anyone her problems, the same as if you had a problem and you told her she wouldn’t tell her friends. Ask her if there is anything in particular she wants to do one night and if you can afford it or it is suitiable you could maybe do what she wants to do. But do not let your daughter rule the roost; it’s really just getting the mix of being a friend and a parent.

Helen asks…

how do I have a better relationship with my daughter?

my daughter is 36 years old and we had a good relationship when she was a toddler, now we clash, she is a very senstive person and she’s very critical of everything I do she hates my significant other she takes everything i say the wrong way, she now has a daughter of her own thats 16 ..I had some bad things happen to me about 4 months ago and I needed a place to go and stay until I got myself together as a last resort I went to her house, she answered her door and told me that my emergencies are not her emergencies and basically she asked me to leave…I’m still in shock over this I spoke to her once briefly since then, and that was for her to say happy mothers day when i was on the phone with my grandaughter also she sent me a mothers day card to my place of employment with a note inside that said something relating to forgiviness I feel she owes me an apology she turned her back on me a my lowest point i would have trouble treating a stranger that way ,

Sally Smith answers:

That’s a tough one. I am wondering if there were big problems between toddlerhood and moving out on her own. Sorry to suggest, but if you partied, drank, did drugs, had a lot of men in and out of her life, she may be very resentful of you for what she may consider her lost youth. If those things did not happen, and nothing else, maybe she is just selfish! You raise them the best you can, but they still develop their own personalilties. Ask yourself — did I mother her the way I should have, did I teach her to be generous, has she had something happen in her own adult life that might make her just want to be left alone? It would be nice if you could convince her to sit down with you and just ask if there is something you have done to cause her resentment. And, then listen and only listen. Do not interrupt to defend your actions. Let her vent. You may hear things you never realized. You may hear that she took something the wrong way and when it is your turn to talk, explain nicely. Perhaps both of you could talk to a counselor or clergy.
You may not realize what you may have done. ASK !!!

Donald asks…

What movie is this? Father and daughter have good relationship and then…?

and then the dads girlfriend and her two sons move in, the daughter cuts her hair and sleeps with on of the boys. On the cover I think the father and daughter are pictured resting sitting or laying down in a field or grass or something.

Sally Smith answers:

The Ballad of Jack and Rose

It’s with Daniel Day Lewis and Camilla Belle.

Your Questions About Effective Communication

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Jenny asks…

Do you prefer to communicate verbally, with words, music, art, or through writing?

Why? And which of these techniques of communication is most effective for letting people know how you feel?

Sally Smith answers:

My preferred methods are verbal and writing. Both have pros and cons. And, as far as total overall effectiveness, they seem to be more profound. Words, in letter or in person, convey three things:

1. Meaning
2. Intent
3. Idea

Other methods are fine, but as far as building and establishing a relationship goes, verbal and writing seem to be more effective for me. The power of the word can’t be taken lightly.

Which one I use all depends on what I am trying to accomplish. If I’m trying to communicate my thoughts, feelings, or ideas to someone who isn’t interested, or who tends to interrupt or argue, I will write them a letter. If you struggle using words on the fly, feel the need to think about them, erase them, alter them, or add to them, then the letter is the best method. If you are a fairly good word-smith and understand the techniques of communication, then I prefer verbal communication. There is more to be gained from verbal communication, but it is also the most dangerous. Saying something in a slightly wrong way can create a massive misunderstanding. It is easier to lose control of yourself and begin to yell, argue, or fight. It is easy to give the wrong impression if you struggle with expressing your emotions

Either way, communication is an art form. There are ways and methods to draw someone into a conversation, get them on your side, or even get them willing to listen.

John asks…

HELP! Can you help me to “EDIT” the following paragraph..?

I am writing a law personal statement for recognizing my legal credentials in Canada. This is my introduction paragraph. I feel that the second sentence may need some editing. Thanks.

Other versions of the second sentence:

1) “I am skilled in applying effective listening and communication techniques to problem-solving situations.”
- but this sentence does not identify the aspects of applying listening and communication skills to finding solutions for problems

2) “I have the ability to apply consistent listening and communication skills to effectively resolve problems.”
- if included, then this seems like the 3rd sentence is somewhat repeated at the end. It may give an uneeded repetitive flow to the reader.

‘INTRODUCTION’
“I view a career in law as the appropriate step in helping solve conflict in society. I have the ability to find an effective solution for a problem by applying consistent listening and communication skills. I enjoy puzzling together facts of a situation and finding the missing links to effectively solve a problem. I have a strong sense of perseverance that is essential towards achieving short-term and long-term goals. Through hard work and dedication, I am looking forward to a future career within the area of law.”

Sally Smith answers:

Maybe try “By applying consistant communications skills I have the ability to resolve problems.”

I think your problem with the sentence may be adding in “listening” because it is a communication skill.

I would also consider changing the third sentence to “My strong sense of perseverance ensures I achieve both short and long term goals” Only because you have a lot of “I”‘s starting sentences in the paragraph.

Lastly, it is “I look forward to” within the last sentence because it is more confident – but that is a personal suggestion. The sentence is fine the way it is.

Paul asks…

Answer these Health Questions?

1. Write one short-term goal for enhancing your sense of self, and list all of the
steps necessary to achieve the goal. The steps to your goal must include how
you will deal with the positive and negative influences on your sense of self.

2. Imagine you are teaching a fifth grader about health. Write a paragraph for the
fifth grader that explains why effective communication is related to health. Include
a definition of “effective communication” in your paragraph.

3. Pick a specific mental or emotional problem. List at least 5 signs or symptoms
of that problem. Then list at least 3 actions you would take if a friend showed
these signs. Then write down one reliable source of help you would use if your
friend needed immediate help.

4. Write down one source of stress in your life. List the 3 steps of self-
management, and create a plan to manage that stress in a healthy way. Your
plan should have at least 4 stress management techniques.

Sally Smith answers:

Do your own homework.

Your Questions About Better Relationship

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David asks…

how to become a better boyfriend and stop messing up my relationship with the perfect girl for me?

main problems, i get kinda jealous, i admit im immature sumtimes, please help, what can i do 2 stop messing thing up

Sally Smith answers:

This should help you.

Http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Boyfriend

Sandy asks…

What can I do to better my relationship with my boyfriend?

I love my boyfriend very much and we’ve been discussing marriage a little recently. We don’t always see eye to eye and I was wondering if I could get some pointers on good ways to remind eachother of how much we love eachother. We recently got baptised and are trying to live our lives through Christianity. So I’m looking for answers from someone who’s experienced with love, relattionships and pre-marital advice. Thanks!

Sally Smith answers:

How about you try and treat him with the same love you would treat your own child with! Put him as close to the first position in your life that is possible. And he will see that you are doing this and follow. LOVE HIM WHOLE HEARTEDLY. 

Carol asks…

How do you start a good relationship with your boyfriend’s ex who is the mother of his child?

The break up between them was long and painful, but our relationship started fast after. She isn’t too fond of me because of that.
How can I smooth things out between her and I? The child will always be a part of his life, of course, so how can I become a better person in her eyes?

Sally Smith answers:

You need to give it time. And right now she needs to cool down. Give her the space that she needs. And as time goes by then it will get better. She is angry at you right now for no reason at all. But someday she will have to face that facts that you had nothing to do with them breaking up. I think if you try to push it now that it will only make her resent you more. Be patient with her.

Your Questions About Better Relationship With Mom

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Lizzie asks…

How can I build a better relationship with my Mom?

My Mom is really stressed out b/c of a lot of things that have been happening recently. She gets grumpy more often than she ever has. She criticizes me a lot, and I criticize her tone in return. We love each other and all, but at the same time, it’s so hard to deal with one another. Are there any steps I can take to improve our relationship?

Sally Smith answers:

Do something nice for her for no reason at all. No ulterior motive. Does she work a job? Make dinner for the family one night a week. Ignore her criticism, and go out of your way not to criticize her. She won’t notice the first time you do this. So you’ll have to keep at it. She’ll notice eventually, and it will completely disarm her (hopefully!).

Robert asks…

how do i get a better relationship with my mom?

me and my mom are constantly fighting! it sucks because i love her but she drives me crazy, as do i to her. i spend alot of the time crying because it just hurts alot. i know my mom loves me and always will but it seems like she doesn’t. i know my mom and i will never have a perfect relationship but i would like to at least make it better than what it is. help!

Sally Smith answers:

You should talk to her and tell her how you feel. I’m sure she’ll understand! But if your not willing to do that, you can always just write her a letter and give it to her or set it on her bed. To get a better relationship with her you can eat dinner together and talk about your day. Good Luck.

Carol asks…

What are some thngs I can do to build a better relationship with my mom?

Me and her dont get along very well, sometimes I try to spend time with her, but she never wants to talk to me, and she never wants to do the same things I want to, but our relationship is important to me…what can I do?

Sally Smith answers:

Well… If she doesn’t like doing things you like doing, why don’t you do things that she likes doing.

For example:
if she likes gardening, next time she does it, show interest and offer to help her.
She might think that you don’t want to have a relationship with her, but if you do things that she likes, you’ll be showing that you are interested in having a relationship.

Ruth asks…

How do I get a better relationship with my mom?

We fight all the time, and she annoys me, (but she also takes care of me)..but I think we don’t have a good relationship.
What should I do?

Sally Smith answers:

Don’t know what age you are but through the teens it seems most kids don’t get along with their mothers. Perhaps you two are too much alike and neither of you have recognized that fact but find the similarities annoying.

I know its hard for you to believe but your mother does most of the time know what is right and good for you and since you are trying to be your own person, you are rebelling against her and her knowledge to prove that you know what is best. Unfortunately you don’t have the life experience that your mother does so you don’t always know what is best.

I think you need to sit down with your mother and tell her that you would like to have a better relationship with her and ask her what she thinks would help to make that happen, you probably are just as annoying to your mother as she is to you, so maybe you could tell her that sometimes you get annoyed with her or what she is saying or doing and ask her what things about you annoy her so that you both could work on them or at least try not to continue doing or saying the same things as often.

I do think that tactful honesty is important, unfortunately it seems that the mother child relationship waits for the child to be an adult before the real closeness begins. Hope this helps.

Betty asks…

How can I help build a better relationship with my mom?

We don’t talk about anything. Except for dinner and tv and the cat. She feels that I don’t try and “like” my brother and sisters. I feel like she’s always busy and I tell her sometimes but she says I yell and she doesn’t want to be acused of anything but she’s always yelling now it’s become a habit for me but i usually try not to if she gave me a chance i wouldn’t have to raise my voice.

Sally Smith answers:

I leaned that the best 2 things to do for someone you want a better relationship with is 1) spend time with them (people spell LOVE as T-I-M-E) 2) Find ways to serve them.

Find some moments in your day that you can spend with your mom instead of doing something else. It doesn’t have to be more then 5 minutes each day. A lot of small amounts of time each day is worth more then a bunch of time once a month. Also find little things you can do help your mom. Make her bed, write notes to her, make her favorite meal or dessert for her, buy her her favorite flower, I’m sure when your mom sees that you are going out of your way to spend time with her and help her, she will change her attitude towards you. Best of luck!!

Your Questions About Emotional Balance

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Ruth asks…

Book: “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”?

Is a book by John Gray offering many suggestions on improving male / female (husband-wife) relationships by understanding the communication style and moral / emotional needs of the opposite gender…

After reading the book I believe, men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in a relationship and if the balance becomes off and one person feels they have given more than they have been given to, resentment flu develops… This is a time when communication is very important to help bring the relationship back into balance…

Do you agree with author’s ideas about male-female communications differences narrated in the book…?

Do you agree every one must read this book, in order to retreat & improve the relationship…?

Sally Smith answers:

Yes, I agree, at least it is a start to understanding each other.

Sandra asks…

Can emotionally imbalanced people be successful in life or are they just hopelessly screwed?

We had a family meeting about a relative – everybody’s got one black sheep – and the topic of their future came up. I became despondent because I’d read this article about a newly-printed book ‘The Winner’s Brain’ and one of the attributes setting achievers apart from non-achievers is emotional balance.

Now I already know I can just ignore that book. I already know about the enormity of literature out there on the subject of success. It just got me thinking about our black sheep and whether they have any hope of success. I’d like to think this person’s not going to be perpetually dependent. Actually they’re pretty functional, just a string of career failures, blah blah. Hence the meeting.

In China, matchmakers were kept for years from knowing about mental/emotional illness in the client family as detection of its presence radically changed the prices and lowered prospects. The result is well you can see the result today. But does having a crazy boss at the top ensure failure? Stress yes, high turn-over sometimes, but is that the whole story? Do emotionally imbalanced people have no point in doing anything before they perfect the management of this internal problem first? Or can they still ‘make it’? What do you think?

Sally Smith answers:

Sometimes success is necessary to recover from mental illness! Mental illness is not necessarily an ongoing problem through a lifetime. It can be limited to one occasion.

There are many successful people out there who have suffered from some form of mental illness. Mental illness is widespread and more common than you realize. The severe cases are usually the ones that result when treatment is delayed for a longer period of time.

Many famous and successful people in history had suffered from severe mental illness. Take Beethoven or Maya Angelou. Or Jimmy Carrey. They all had mental illness but they succeeded.